Victoria's Journal

4:14am: Summer. Oh summer what to do with you? I thought it would be the end, but it's only the beginning. It's miserable and slow, and these few weeks are absolutely crawling. On a better note, I've passed my classes. I wasn't sure what I'd accomplished, but at least it was the minimal to scrape by. This semester was the worst I've had yet. Not to complain. It's also been one of the best. I've grown so close to my friend Josh, and we've had some amazing times. I feel like this is the time to be making memories, and every moment I think to myself that I should really savor everything, because one day those will be the things I look back on and smile about.

Two more weeks until take off. Two more weeks and I'll be out of the country, in the tropical sun, amongst a culture I've always envied to be part of. I can't wait to learn and experience and see places I've only dreamed of having the chance to experience. And afterward I'll have the other half of my soul here to keep me company, so I just need to make it through these two weeks and it will all be gravy from there.

I've made an icon journal because I'm piling up icons I've made in my spare time, and I actually want to post them for people to use if they like. I'm not sure they're that great, but I like them. They're tons of fun to get into. I need more inspiration for them...Really I need more inspiration for several things. But I've picked up a new persona. A new voice, I should say, because that's what they all become, little voices in my head constantly chattering. One day someone will really think I'm schizo. Sometimes it's just easier being them than being me. How crazy does that sound?

I usually don't rant, but I feel like I've got a million things on my mind and nothing but boring work and daily blahness to keep me satisfied. I've even packed most of my things that I can afford to not wear in the meantime. We are only supposed to take one suitcase, but my gosh how on earth does someone live for two weeks out of one bag? And I'm a LIGHT packer. Gosh.

Late night blogs should be banned.

3:02pm: So I am coming up to the last of the semester, and it should be a huge relief, but the pressure seems to be more unbearable than ever. I feel like totally giving up, but I know it's just one more week. Yes...one more week. I will be completely done by Tuesday, which I didn't realize today, and that is as much a horribly scary thing as it is a consolation that maybe I can sleep a little and take a break before preparing for travel. I have so much to do, so little time, and even less money to do it, and it is the most miserable situation ever. I am beginnning to doubt if I should have done this trip, but I'm so excited, and I know it's one more step toward what will ultimately help my future career. I feel worse on the edge of all these upcoming progressions than I did as a confused teenager coming out of highschool. Grad school is absolutely terrifying, and the amount it costs to continue on is depressing. But I know I HAVE to do this for myself and for my daughter. I know it will make us happy. It is just frustrating when no one seems to understand the pressure, coming from a family who has never had a college graduate. These 8:00 a.m -9:30 p.m days are just getting old, and I just want to SLEEP. I want to feel like doing art again, I want to feel like doing something, and recently I've had no drive to do anything but just panic.

It's been a long time since I've actually considered being on medication again for anxiety, but I'm wondering if it isn't a good consideration.

Anywho. I'm so close to the end. I just have a little while to go, and I'm doing my best to hold on. Best consolation is the summer! Tropical sun and my best friend on the way. Who could ask for more? So...Travel list.

Incomplete Travel List:
Find luggage
Buy swimwear:
Bathing suit, flip flops, beach towel, sunglasses, beach bag
Buy t-shirts and two pairs of new jeans
Bath items:
Loofa, soap, face wash, toothbrush, toothpaste, hair straightener, pony tail holders (small and regular), hair dryer, razors
Call doctor for extra prescriptions
Folder for important documents:
Passport, copies of passport, photo ID, contact numbers
School items:
Notebook, pens
Camera and film

To buy on arrival:
Shampoo, conditioner, sunscreen, shaving gel

...to be continued
(Suggestions?)

1:12am: Meme for Evan (I never do these things)
1. Do you like this character?
Oh god. Evan is my absolute love. I feel closer to him than anyone I've ever given life to, and he's turned out to be so complicated and amazing. He constantly surprises me with his capacity to both love and to destroy. He gives himself completely to everything he does, and it is breathtaking the intensity he always exudes. In short...I LOVE Evan.

2. What name(s) do you call this character?
Evan. He's never had much of a nickname. If he did, it would have been given to him by Reggie, but I can't think of any off the top of my head.

3. What image-color do you associate with this character?
I associate him with the color red. I think of red as sexy and passionate. It is the color of blood, and we all know how that relates to him.

4. What image-song do you associate with this character?
I'll have to say I associate him recently with David Cook's "Come Back to Me", because it really sums up his relationships and his devotion to them when he finally opens up and gives all of himself. He'd wait forever for what he feels is worth it.

5. What blood-type do you think this character is?
Pure, though it really doesn't matter. He just doesn't concern himself with blood-purity or who screwed who make what little pureblood bastard.

6. Of all of the titles that this character appears in, what character do you like to put this character with?
He's only been with a handful of characters. His love life up until recently has remained more or less a mystery. At NCF I see two roads for him. Stephen is something dark and hungry like himself. Stephen can lead him down the path of wrong, and Evan is always curious to follow. Regulus is his possible saving grace. We'll just see where it goes.

In all...Regulus is his true and ultimate love. He'll always be a part of Evan's heart.

7. What would you want to say to this character?
I would tell him...Never give up. There are heartbreaks and dead ends, but if you keep trying, you'll find your happiness. Just be true to yourself, no matter what.

8. Which do you want to do with this character?: Shake hands, hug, or kiss?
Kiss him, cause he's so damn sexy. Joking! I would hug him, because sometimes the big bad wolf just needs a warm hug.

1:03am: So here's the deal. My best friend Josh and I are going to opposite ends of the world this summer on study abroad programs. He'll be in Morocco and I'll be in Costa Rica. So we decided it would be neat to come up with a quirky souvenir scavenger hunt to swap items we collect during our trip. They can't cost much, if not be free altogether, and they have to be out of the ordinary from normal souvenirs. This is our list so far. Feel free to suggest additions!

The list:
a piece of currency
an item ironic to the name of the country
a city map marked with all visited locations
a bit of sand from opposite ends of the world
a picture of a really gross man/woman
a suntan
a coke bottle in the language you study

That's it so far, but I have a feeling this list is going to keep getting better and better.

11:47pm: Happy birthday, Iggy! Not really...but...SURPRISE !!

<3!!!!!!!!!

5:38pm: Weekly Schedule
Monday:
Memorial Day
Tuesday:
Calhoun (5:30)
Wednesday:
Check available!!
Go shopping: Look for gift for host family
Thursday:
Calhoun (5:30)
Train Nakota
Work on report
Friday:
Calhoun (4:30)
Work on report
Saturday:
Leave for Costa Rica (6:00 am)
Sunday:
IN COSTA RICA
Tour the city/give oral report

Important Dates
April 10 - 19 Spring Break
April 18 Downtown Art Fest (12:00 - 6:00)
April 20 Philosophy Paper #2 Due; Summer Data Form available
April 21 Dr. Rubio's presentation
April 30 Spanish Lit Final/ Grandma's birthday
May 2 My birthday!!

May 4 - 8 Week of Finals
Monday: Philosophy Final (3:00 - 4:50)
Tuesday: French Final (10:00 - 10:50), Cult and Civ Final (1:00 - 2:50)
Wednesday: Student Study Day
Thursday: Done
Friday: Done

May 30 - June 14 Costa Rica
June 17 Pick up Lynnelle!!

5:33pm: Notice
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